For the past few weeks, I have become quite involved with church activities.
I have been going to my ethnic United Church youth group for four weeks, and just this week, I went to the bible study session at my friend's church.
During these occasions, I have learnt quite a lot of basic information about Christianity. For example, I learned the differences between the Old Testament and the New Testament, I learned the stories in Exodus and Genesis, and I learned several teachings/principles of the religion.
So do I believe in god yet? Of course not. I have grown up in a family that doesn't have a religion, and the majority of the people around me were either atheists or agnostics. Therefore, I have never really thought about God's existence or non-existence, and have never imagined that there would be a superior being watching over me.
But will I ever become a believer? I don't know. I want to be a Christian— I really agree with many of their beliefs, and admire their virtues— but at this stage, it's still hard for me to just accept the existence of God as a fact. And I simply can't imagine how I may change my beliefs over time. So basically, there's no way to tell.
Meanwhile, I should try my best to attend youth groups and bible studies, to expand my knowledge on the bible and Christianity. And hopefully within a few months, I will begin to have a better understanding of my own beliefs.
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If you find this post to messy and confusing, it simply reflects my state of mind. I am really confused about what my beliefs, and what they will be.
