Sunday, April 28, 2013

Anxiety

On Monday or Tuesday, I received a letter from McMaster University, which indicated that I should be expecting my acceptance/rejection letter for their Health Sciences program at the beginning of May. 

This week was also the week that my midterm marks were sent to OUAC, which further reminded me of universities in general.

As such, during this entire week, I couldn't keep my mind off the result of my Health Sciences application. Health Sciences is not necessarily my first choice, but it is nevertheless a program that I will actually consider going to. Also, regardless of whether I will be going to the program or not, I know that getting into the program will give me a big morale boost, and vice versa.

Health Sciences has even manifested into my dreams.

On Wednesday, I dreamed about getting into the program. Even after I woke up, I had a smile on my face because I actually believed the content of the dream.

The next day, however, I dreamed the opposite. This time, the dream was equally convincing, and I woke up with tears still running down my cheek. 

I know it's useless to be so concerned about my admission result; thinking about it won't change anything. In fact, I know I should be prepared to receive my rejection letter, because even though I have very good marks, my supplementary form was clearly sub-par (and they make their decisions based on the supplementary form, not marks).  Still, I can't help but wishfully think of the possibility of being accepted.

I have written this post in an attempt to relieve myself of my tremendous anxiety about my admission to Health Sciences. I hope I can just focus on the tasks at hand (I still have tons of homework, contests, and AP exams), and forget about Health Sciences until the day that I get a response. Yet another case of wishful thinking, but oh well.